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Be a low-key, polite American.
America’s place in the world is changing rapidly, and many American travelers aren’t sure how they’ll be received abroad. If you feel nervous about heading overseas on your next vacation, take it from me (a former New Yorker who has lived in Germany since 2014): you are not going to be fielding hordes of angry residents demanding answers vis à vis the States’ political landscape. In fact, the locals are probably not thinking about your nationality at all unless you happen to be having an exceedingly loud conversation while standing in the middle of a bike path.
Us Americans exist, and if you’re one of them, please do not pin a maple leaf to your lapel and try to pass yourself off as Canadian while abroad. What you can do, however, is take modest but concrete steps to bring out a lower-key American version of yourself, no matter where you may be headed.
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Lower Your Voice
There are very few agreed-upon characteristics that define Americans except that we are loud. I, personally, am not loud (though I admit I used to be louder), and as an American who can match the decibel level of my surroundings, I have become a sort of one-person complaints department for my Berlin friends, when my still-loud compatriots ruin their dinner. The number one question I am asked about us is not related to politics, but “Why do Americans shout their conversation at each other in restaurants?” To avoid being stereotypically loud, Carole Rosenblat, an American who runs a tour company for women and has lived in Budapest for the past six and a half years, recommends moderating your voice to the level of your environment. “Just check in on yourself every once in a while,” she says.
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There’s a Right Way to Rely on English to Get By
Another widely-held conviction about Americans is that we are unwaveringly monolingual, although this is less and less true. Regardless, if you don’t speak the language at your destination, ask local residents if it’s all right to speak English first rather than launching right into it. If you’re feeling ambitious, that question is even “a great thing to learn in whatever language you’re in,” Rosenblat says. “Just don’t assume because even if they do speak English, they can get turned off by that.” In addition, learning a few basics, like “hello,” “goodbye,” “please,” “thank you,” and “I’d like the…[insert dish here],” in the local language are polite lingual accessories to add to your otherwise English-dominant conversation.
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Mind Your Physical Space
We Americans are hardly the only guilty party when it comes to stopping in inopportune places to check a map (and if there are any travelers reading this from anywhere in the world about to head to New York, please, this goes for you, too), but if you are really concerned about being clocked as a foreigner while abroad, “don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take your photos. Go to the side, like you would on a hiking trail,” Rosenblat says. Additionally, many parts of the world have a much more bike-heavy transportation culture than we do. Try not to walk, stand, check your map, or have a conversation in a bicycle lane, in the same way that you would not walk or hang out in the middle of a road (presumably). Be aware of bike lanes that are integrated into the sidewalk. Along with the many bicycles coming down the way, they are usually recognizable thanks to a paving pattern distinct from the rest of the path.
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Make Your Destination the Focus of Your Trip
Something I’ve noticed over my years abroad is that U.S. travelers have a knack for steering conversations about traditions, cultural norms and practices, food, etc., back to what they do or what happens in the U.S. In the worst-case scenario, it can come off as arrogant. While managing a tour in Cuba back in 2016, Rosenblat remarked that participants asked the tour’s Cuban guide plenty of questions, but it “was always preceded with ‘in America, we do this,’” which didn’t land particularly well. “I get in their head they are working out the differences, but it comes off as ‘we’re better,’” she says. “Talk to strangers, but also listen to them,” Rosenblat adds.
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Leave Your Most Casual Clothes at Home
Elizabeth Heath has lived in Italy for the past 16 years, where she works as a writer and runs an Umbrian tour company. According to Heath, Americans are often recognizable by their casual dress.
“You kind of want to blend in wherever you go, and so I just encourage people to dress a little bit neater,” she says. “It doesn’t mean you have to be super elegant, but bring a shirt with a collar on it; don’t wear your baseball cap into restaurants. I discourage people from wearing shorts and flip-flops everywhere.” Baseball caps (any baseball caps, not just the red ones) seem to be a particular hallmark of U.S. travelers. Originally from Georgia, Courtney Brandt, a writer and content creator who has lived in Dubai for 18 years, admits that while she still wears a baseball cap out and about, it is something that can make people stand out as American.
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Consider Destinations Off-the-Beaten-Path
Many popular destinations are increasingly overcrowded. When you’re somewhere jammed and don’t get quite the reception you hoped, it likely has much more to do with the current nature of global tourism and very little to do with you, personally. (And in some cases, it is concretely not about Americans—Amsterdam, for example, launched an entire campaign around repelling poorly behaved young British men.) Although she doesn’t think it’s necessary to avoid big cities entirely, Heath noticed on a recent sojourn to Rome at the beginning of the high season that service staff already seemed stressed out. If warmer vibes rate high on your travel priorities, consider smaller towns and destinations off the beaten path. “My feeling is that if you want to have a better travel experience and be better received by local residents, going to places that aren’t already overwhelmed by tourism is a good idea,” Heath said.
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Know the Limits of Your Genetic Insights
Americans’ ancestral roots span the globe. But just because you’ve learned it may technically be in the realm of possibility that you share a great-great-great-great grandparent with the hotel concierge, accept that you will probably not be embraced as if you are from the destination you’re visiting or that this is a wildly compelling line of conversation to said concierge. Your 23andme results are most likely only of interest to you and your immediate kin, so please don’t regale the actual locals with a breakdown of how you came to be 11/16ths Scots-Irish.
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Be Your Enthusiastic Self
I will never buy into the idea that greeting every magnificent site with pursed lips and an ambivalent demeanor somehow makes you cool or sophisticated. Something that makes Americans great is our tendency toward general gusto and enthusiasm. Though Dubai doesn’t get tons of U.S. visitors, Brandt says, what does set apart the Americans—in a positive way—is their open appreciation for what they’re seeing. “Maybe it’s the scale, the wow factor, with my parents, they’re really super impressed, and same with my sister and brother-in-law and nieces,” she says.
Berlin, where I live, has many lovely qualities, but sparkling politesse is not one of them, and being proactively pleasant stands out well. I recall my father once returning to the counter of my favorite local ice cream shop because he wanted to tell the owner that his scoop of pistachio was excellent. Glowing, she positively gushed a thank you at him. Sounds obvious, but it’s nice to be nice.
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You Actually Don’t Have to Talk Politics
If you’re specifically concerned about being questioned or judged about the U.S. political realm, don’t be. First, it’s not necessarily going to come up. Second, “if you don’t want to have that conversation, I think you can politely say, you know, we’re here on vacation and to get away from that,” Heath says. “You can jump into the conversation, but it’s your choice.” And in the unlikely event someone does launch a political discussion in your direction, it’s probably not going to be a big deal.
After 11 years abroad, this scenario has only played out once for me, during a work trip to Paris in December 2016. Another trip attendee and I were having a glass of wine at a quiet bar in Montmartre, and a drunk patron suddenly came over to fairly aggressively and semi-coherently unload his thoughts about the recent U.S. election. We calmly tried to field his complaints. The bartender and a friend of his told the drunk guy to knock it off (which he did), and the four of us ended up having a nice chat. It was ultimately a non-event that did not stain an otherwise wonderful trip, and I certainly don’t regret going.
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Remember, Everyone Else Is Dealing With Their Own Stuff
“People do not, at least in my experience and so many people I talk to, have a problem with Americans,” Rosenblat says, pointing out that one particular reason might be that Hungary, where she lives, as well as countries like Georgia and Serbia, are currently in the midst of major, ongoing political protests. People have their own country’s issues to deal with, and U.S. politics are simply not their focus—and in some cases, they may be somewhat relatable.
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Take Things as They Come
Simply accepting that things aren’t going to be the way they are at home is a good way to relax and more fully get into the experience of being where you are, which typically makes things easier on both traveler and host.
“My advice would be to just to accept that you are in a different country, where they do things differently than the U.S., and just go with the flow,” Heath says. “If that means it takes longer for the food to arrive or the waiter to come take your order or the bus to show up, well, that’s why we travel, to experience different cultures.”