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Cruises aren’t just for retirees—or are they?
I thought I was in for a week of smooth sailing and relaxation. Ten days aboard the MSC Poesia as a 16-year-old with my 13 other family members was as chaotic and exciting as it sounds. Lucky for me, the 1,000-foot ship was just big enough for family bonding (and offered just enough space to avoid the drama).
You are probably wondering how I survived a trip with six grouchy kids and seven even grouchier adults. Honestly? I have no idea, but before booking your next cruise and inviting your whole family along, here are a few things you’re going to want to consider, especially when it comes to traveling with a Gen-Z teen.
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Onboard Wi-Fi? How About No-Fi
Don’t even bother trying to get any work done. Speaking from personal experience, the signal was almost as unpredictable as the guy singing in the room next door. Seriously, I couldn’t decide whether to give an award or splurge on a pair of earplugs. Before the trip, I promised myself that I’d be the “good student,” the one who kept up with all the summer program lectures and did all the assignments. Lucky me, a day into the cruise, the Wi-Fi decided to go completely haywire. Downloads, phone calls, and sending photos? All out of the question.
INSIDER TIPDownload all your Netflix shows before getting on that cruise. Trust me.
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Not Every Activity Was Made for Me (Or Anyone Under 50, for That Matter)
A day at sea is perfect for relaxation and contemplating the impending end of your vacation. If you’re not spending it in bed eating cocktail shrimp, you’re doing something wrong. But if, for some reason, you’re like me and would rather be searching for something less crustacean and more vacation, I don’t blame you.
The ‘classic cruise crowd’ activities, while definitely old-timey and sweet, are in desperate need of an update. While there is nothing wrong with making handmade cards or joining napkin folding lessons with grandma, sometimes heading to the spa for a relaxing (but pricey) treatment or sweeping the deck with your inflatable dart board skills might sound a little more promising. Too bad the most exciting thing on the schedule was bingo at 3 pm and a conga line you didn’t sign up for.
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There Are Generational Differences in Snack Behavior
I wasn’t prepared for the intense excursions. With the long days of city exploration, hiking, and scrambling to find the best local spots to eat during the hour-long free times, someone was always bound to be hungry. Fortunately, in a family of 14, there was always someone with a sack full of buffet treasures. From their logoed fanny packs, grandma and grandpa each whipped out three hard-boiled eggs while my aunt and uncle offered up plastic bags full of dinner rolls and croissants.
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Surprisingly, Not Everything is Complimentary
It was too good to be true. All the upsold, caveat-filled items that should have been free in theory ended up costing more than they were ever worth. I mean, sure, there’s free food at the buffet and free tap water you can drink from your room’s sink (which I don’t advise drinking), but anything better—pshh, don’t even think about it. For the good stuff, like lobster dinners (for $34 a piece) or bottled water, I hope you don’t mind paying an extra.
To save a few bucks, consider splurging on a drink package. Eighteen dollars a day, with unlimited drinks from the buffet and bars, is perfect for luxurious dining without blowing the budget. The drink package only gets you so far, though. As an avid orange juice drinker, I was quite disappointed to find that, even with the package and the many baskets of oranges at their disposal, freshly squeezed orange juice remains unattainable. I guess we’ll have to stick to the boxed stuff.
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The Family Group Texts Are Too Much
There’s something almost military about getting a text at 9 pm that says, “Meet for breakfast at 8 am.” You can’t escape it, especially with the truckload of other notifications that come with 13 other people leaving thumbs-up reactions. Unless you’re trying to annoy all the neighbors, don’t forget to turn your phone on silent.
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Are We Sure Cruises Are Actually Grandparent Friendly?
From the restaurant menus to the cruise app that everyone is expected to download, it’s like they grandparent-proofed the place. In theory, using QR codes for menus and an informational cruise app for announcements should make things more efficient—because why not?
It’s the twenty-first century, after all. But it becomes a problem when most passengers can’t figure out how to send a text, let alone download an app. And when opening a digital menu turns into a whole ordeal, it’s often easier to just have their grandchildren read it aloud.
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Cruises Feel Too Rushed
I hope you weren’t looking forward to really seeing it all. The whole trip seemed a little rushed, in my opinion. You get about eight hours at each destination, and that’s if everyone runs on time. Planning to sleep in? Think again.
Most days, the docking time is around 8 a.m., so unless you’re okay with skipping the entire stop, it’s an early wake-up or nothing. That said, even with all the chaos, waking up in a different country every morning was a breathtaking experience. No matter how tempting it is to hit snooze, trust me—it’s not worth missing what’s out there. Set those alarms (and a backup one too, just in case)!
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The Onboard Mini Mall Needs to Seriously Restock
Where else are you supposed to get all those random cruise souvenirs? While it’s meant for convenience, sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Here are two things to remember on your cruise when visiting the mini mall so you aren’t left stranded without a toothbrush or nail polish: It’s closed when the ship is docked, and everything worth buying is completely out of stock by day four, so stock up in advance.
Don’t make the same mistake I did: forgetting my phone charger at home and waiting until the last second to buy one. Not only was the shop closed, but even when it did open, they still didn’t have any. Lesson learned: don’t forget your chargers at home.